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By
Shay Bilchik, president and CEO, Child Welfare League of America
(ARA) -Today, nearly 1 million children in the United States
call their adoptive parents “Mom” and “Dad,” and this year
120,000 more children will be added to that growing family. The
decision to open your home to a child will certainly change your
life in every way imaginable -- and a few ways that you probably
can’t imagine. But if you’re considering adoption, know that
your unique decision will put you in good company, in more ways
than one. In fact, according to the National Adoption Information
Clearinghouse, a majority of Americans have been personally
affected by adoption: Six out of 10 people have either adopted a
child themselves, placed a child for adoption, or know a family
member or close friend who has done so. Many prospective adoptive parents have heard myths about the
need to hire an attorney before even considering adoption, or
rumors about the thousands of dollars in legal and
administrative fees. In reality, the cost to adopt a child in
foster care can range from nothing at all to a very minimal
expense -- for a relationship that’s often priceless. A 2002 study conducted by Howard and Smith (Howard and Smith,
in press) found that most adoptive parents believe that adoption
agency personnel prepared them quite well for the challenges
they faced, and they agreed that adoption has affected their
family very positively. Most adoptive parents find the
experience of raising their children a rewarding one that has
helped them forge a close bond to their adopted children. Like
most mothers and fathers, when asked about parenting, they’ll
tell you the experience can be delightful and joyful, yet
sometimes challenging. Of course, adoptive parents need to be
realistic and open to asking for post-adoption services and
supports if they anticipate potential problems. The Child Welfare League of America offers the following tips
for adoptive parents: * Start the process by doing your homework. Learn all you can
about how adoption works in your state. Seek the advice and
services of the state or county child welfare agency or an
established, licensed adoption organization in your community.
* Ask for all the information that can legally be provided
about your child and his or her birth family; this information
will be invaluable to them later in life. * Be open and honest about everything from the very
beginning. Tell your child he is adopted; tell the child what
you know of his birth family. It’s much easier to tell the truth
than to try to work through lack of trust later. * The child’s desire to know his or her birth parents is
natural and has nothing to do with their relationship with you.
Remember a child cannot be loved by too many people -- the birth
parent is not your enemy. * Treat the adopted child the same as you would a birth child
by providing the same expectations, the same nurturing and
support. * Assure the child that that you will always be there for
him. * Adolescence is difficult for most children and their
parents, but can be especially troubling for some adopted
families. Find other adoptive parents to spend time with, at
least until your child is grown. They will be a source of
strength, support and wisdom. * Continue to attend training related to adoption issues. You
may find some answers, or you may be able to help other adoptive
parents with your insight and solutions. * Spend special time with your spouse, significant other, or
best friends. Give the kids and yourself a break! * Remember to keep an open mind and heart -- your child is
depending on you. Adoption can bring all kinds of rewards, not just to the new
parents, but to the extended family as well. Right now, there
are hundreds of children in your community just waiting to
become part of a family. For more information about adoption,
visit the Child Welfare League of America’s Web site at
www.cwla.org . CWLA is the nation's largest and oldest membership-based
child welfare organization. We are committed to engaging people
everywhere in promoting the well-being of children, youth and
their families and protecting every child from harm. Courtesy of ARA Content |